Mar 13 2011

So you want to be a prison guard?

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Correctional officer?

I hear there’s a lot of fighting and pushing people around so if you are physicaly tough you might be the right person for the job.

So, if Lumby opens a prison you can apply! They teach you how to treat people as “humanely as possible” so no, you don’t get a gun but you might get to carry bear spray. You will need it. You will have to cope with angry people, spit, vomit, blood – and other bodily fluids – stress is high and morale is low. Being assaulted is common.

You get to wear a uniform just like the other guards so no one gets confused as to who’s who. Most prisoners don’t really like being there so they are uptight and angry – you will have to get used to that.

You will have to take an entrance exam, an IQ test. But as long as you don’t break double digits, you’re in.

“Prison Guards work 24/7. It is a requirement of the role to work various shift patterns including day, night and weekend shifts.”

Check out the application form for a real job.

*inspired by an e-mail from Dwight Farr

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